Yep, yesterday, I mean earlier today, I posted at 12:00, one minute past 11:59 PM, and that makes me a failure for 3 years in a row of slicing, ineligible, I believe, to receive prizes at the end of the month.
I would tell you about the Internet lag time, but that would just be an excuse. I would tell you that I feel like a failure, but that’s so “old” me. The new me, well, the new me wants to tell you that “failure” is a matter of perspective, and maybe the prize I win is intrinsic and my need to win a prize or wave my 11:59 banner is not what winning is about.
You know what I don’t care this year because I am finally realizing why I am here. It’s not about how many comments I receive, it’s not about how polished my writing is, it’s not about winning some SOL prize.
Prizes are won. Sometimes by luck and sometimes by performing better than others. Being the best isn’t really a superlative making me the best in comparison—it ain’t about being good or better or best. The best I seek is my own. The best I seek is in finding my best self.
Writing is about finding my best self and expressing that through my personal journey, through my own little slices. On this journey, I walk more aware of myself as well as more aware of others. Sharing my words and connecting with others and their words helps me internalize how I am seeking to understand more than I am seeking to be understood, especially as I look around and think of what others offer me in their words, their support, their encouragement, and their lives. Whether virtual connections or personal connections. My words and my world through slicing are the product of me looking outward to look inward.
In this personal journey, I walk my walk more aware of others and while I look outward to look inward, I seek to learn and grow about others and about myself. This is where I pull down my self-imposed barriers. This is where I laugh at myself when I see myself reacting, obsessing, blurting, etc. This is where I look outward at my world in a new way and see who I am, who I am in process of becoming. This is where I slow down and look around and slice to make meaning of life. The world is lighter, and my burdens are lighter. Words make meaning like never before.
Therein lies the prize. With that I know, I have met the Slice of Live Challenge, have found new meaning in life, have grown in relationships, and have won my own personal victory.
And that perspective is my personal best, and that makes me feel like a prize winner.