Waiting for the Muse

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On a fall day,

the girl approaches me,

“Mrs. Woodall, are you going to do NANO this year?”

Happily she waves a notebook in the air, showing me her set up

thinking I’m a kindred spirit, a fellow writer.

I excuse myself, “I don’t do fiction,” like I can throw that out there

the same way I say, “I can’t sing.”

My singing is bad–I’ve tried.

My fiction. I haven’t–not so much.

Fiction I haven’t attempted

since middle school.

I wonder if the writer’s voice of my fiction

would be better than my singing voice–

it couldn’t be worse.

This blog is forlorn,

waiting for my words.

A novel in a month ain’t gonna happen.

Weekly writing–is that too much?

 

I write–don’t I?

Lesson plans.

Tests.

Monthly school calendar.

Emails.

Walk through evals.

Goals.

Department Orders.

Book club stuff.

Notes.

Professional posts.

Modeling and scaffolding for kids.

RTIs.

 

Isn’t that writing?

Does that count?

Where is my muse?

Hello??

Over here–I’m in need

of some inspiration.

I am walking in the valley,

tired,

words don’t come.

I sputter.

I falter.

I type and delete.

Thoughts never complete.

Meandering moments

as I try to find my muse.

Maybe I will say yes to writing again.

and be on the writing project teaching team.

Maybe that will inspire me to seek out

the writer that lies dormant inside

instead of waiting for the muse

that might never come

unless I put my fingers on the keys

and go through the motion

finding discipline,

seeking inspiration of germinating thoughts

instead of waiting for the muse to nurture my soul.

For now,

I try to make it each Tuesday

to my blog

going through the motions

and hoping

the muse will find me

here.

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6 thoughts on “Waiting for the Muse

  1. It sounds like your “life” has taken the wind out of your writing sails! The theme on so many posts this week is the need for time to write. This is no only true for us, but also for our students. We have so much “work” to do in school and they have so much “homework” to do that time for READING as well as WRITING is smushed into the smallest of spots of our lives. You are not alone and your post makes me stop and think about the demands on us all.

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  2. Everyone is too, too busy. It seems sometimes like the perfect storm. I hope you’ll find the time to write just for you, and then that muse will sit down beside you. Although hard to read, I think you just wrote a beauty of a response to your life right now-you did write!

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  3. I know how you feel – teaching writing, but not actually being a writer. That is the beauty of NaNoWriMo. No one has to see it, you don’t have time to self-edit, and a horrible first draft is expected! Who knows what creativity is hiding in your unwritten novel. I am challenging myself to turn off my “inner editor” just as NaNo tells our students. It’s nothing I’ve ever done before, and I’m excited!

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  4. margaretsmn

    Nanowrimo scares me to death, but I have a 4th grader and a 6th grader ready to take it on. Can I join them? Yikes! I like this poem so much because it is me, except the part about singing cause I can do that one. And I have written fiction. Thinking about doing a verse novel for nano. Wanta join me? How can we connect on the site? It daunts me, haunts me. Maybe together we can get the courage to dive in?

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  5. Thinking Margaret–I may join that student…I have an idea I am going to share with her and with my principal—thanks for supporting me. I will see if we can connect if I do.

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