Slice of Life Story Challenge: 1 of 31
“Maya, when you’re everywhere, you’re nowhere,” the wise friar advised, his voice a resonating baritone. Scattered as usual, distracted by the screensaver on his computer and his neat piles of clutter in his office, I tried to absorb the words and take them with me, bettering myself. For me, reconciliation and penance weren’t about guilt and not being good enough; instead this was a vehicle to help me become my best self.
My time with the wise friar was years ago, but so often those words still resonate as a sort of call, beckoning me to become my best self, knowing I”m still falling short and still scattered.
A visionary with epic ideas encumbered by unmedicated ADD, I can’t keep up with my ideas, I miss details, I change gears mid-sentence. I am off task one minute and in overdrive unable to stop the next. I am everywhere–not in an ominipresent sort of way but in a lack-of-present sort of way.
History repeats itself. The papers have piled up again, the professional sub was never requested, the day of meetings messed up, a calendar rarely opened, a mailbox with the red number aboive reading 2211, a forlorn to do list, papers strewn about my classroom, a hamper full of clothes, an upcoming conference presentation–unprepared. The everywhere piles up: department head, leadership role in KMWP, AYP tutoring, the busyness of family, jewelry trunk show, a weekly blog turned daily…and so much more.
I live life with passion; I take on things that matter to me. I neglect things that stress me out or that feel beyond my control (the 2211 emails and much more). I avoid. I talk. I fall into the abyss of distractions with my everywhere leading to nowhere.
Some people live their busyness without chaos. I know the visionary rarely becomes the pragmatic planner, but I need to find a way to channel my energy, organize my thoughts, check off my tasks, and become my best person. I need to become a grounded visionary, so everything I live and embrace will not find itself going nowhere.I am still trying to become my best self, live my own word for the year, and find the sacred in all things.
Meandering Maya 
So hard to step into your shoes, to figure out what you really need, & probably it’s a variety of things. Did you read Stacey’s post about saying ‘no’? It may be a start. Or my other idea, take one thing & get rid of the problem. If it’s laundry, ask your husband to do it. If it’s e-mails, start a new g-mail & ignore that big number. Eventually, delete the entire account. Once you’ve begun, perhaps the ride will become smoother. I admire that you shared your frustration. It sounds like you do, in spite of the scatteredness, so many wonderful things. Perhaps you’re doing fine and just don’t realize it? Best to you Maya!
LikeLike
Maya,
A lot of what you share sounds familiar. I am not sure how to tell you to fix what you identify as distractions but I agree with Linda take things off the plate and as Stacey mentioned, don’t be afraid to say no-we can’t be everything in all if we aren’t true to ourselves first. Hope you make progress on your distractions.
LikeLike
Maya, I hear (and share) your so vividly described world with so much to do and still only 24 hours in a day. I did make myself a sign saying “It’s OK to say No,” after Stacy’s epic post last month; however, for many of us there are still so many things we want to do and so many parts of our lives that call us to respond. I try to control the many distractions of my word with lists of what MUST be done – but there are many “things” that make the list for weeks before they get “done.”
LikeLike
I loved your closing sentence – and there is your true challenge, isn’t it? A life fully lived often seems chaotic, but there is also a richness of experience and a feeling of fulfillment when you are busy doing things that matter. Delegate and shrug off the smaller stuff…
LikeLike
I forgot to submit my professional learning day for curriculum planning and almost missed the district panning day with department heads.
LikeLike
I have taken a lot off my plate—at least I took yearbook on my plate, but then I added a lot: department head, a second content area (that I cannot control, but next year is looking like a one content area), KMWP stuff. The thing is o feel the new leadership role is good for me, but I need to work smarter and work out some of my kinks. Thanks for the support.
LikeLike
Thanks for the ideas. No. No. No. No. I like the sound of it.
LikeLike
Thanks for realizing what is good in it all. Delegate. Good idea.
LikeLike
As I read your post I was in awe of all the tasks that you have to do; the leadership, the tutoring, the teaching, the conference. In awe because despite the chaos I couldn’t help thinking that you have achieved so much.
LikeLike
God bless you, a positive beacon of light. So often Slicers offer me a new perspective; it’s so freeing to rise above my own doubts and fears and see more clearly who I am. Thanks.
LikeLike
I say embrace the chaos – we all can’t be left brained with organized files and 3 calendars. I use the strategy of eating an elephant, one bite at a time. Don’t worry about changing – your visionary tendencies come in handy, don’t they? (P.S. Drop off your laundry here – it’s my favorite chore.)
LikeLike
Our lives often consume us! Sometimes just five minutes of silence can help. : )
LikeLike
Hey, there are all types in this world, and we need it that way. I myself waver from the ADD to the HR (hyper-relaxed). Either way, when you have a lot on your plate, you get more distracted and forgetful, I’ve found…well, me not you. I found myself reading your post with new assurance that it is not just me that forgets to say “no”, forgets the big things and sometimes little things alike, makes wonderfully “organized” piles of stuff, and can’t get the laundry done because of being busy doing something else that isn’t nearly as critical at the moment.
God bless you, and delete 2000 emails! I don’t even look at that number any more!
LikeLike
History repeating itself can be a frustrating thing. How did I let this happen again? How come I don’t know any better at this point? I’ve been there (and am actually there again this weekend, staring down the pile of papers). Sigh. All we can do is invest in the process you’re talking about — keep struggling and striving, keep believing in your best self and that you’ll get there. Presence and slow consciousness are hard to cultivate in a fast-paced world and life, but I’ve done my best to cultivate activities (walks, interactions with nature, headphones and extended pieces of music, and of course reading) that have proven to be very valuable.
And, you are not falling short! You are doing much, and you cannot, should not lose sight of that. We have to value who we are and what we do as we strive to be more than that.
A reflective, rhythmic post that speaks honestly and invites me to reflect on my own best self. It is true that you’re nowhere if you’re everywhere, but your words are here, and they help. Thanks.
LikeLike
Thanks. You don’t live in Atlanta, do you? I would gladly drop off my laundry.
LikeLike
Thanks. I feel like I am not alone.
LikeLike
Paul, you are so right. Thank you for your affirmation and wisdom.
LikeLike